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Ohmygod I introduced ny dad to Skyrim and literally told him “follow the arrow” (quest marker) while escaping from Helgen.

"OHMYGOD DAD FOLLOW THE ARROW"
“what arrow”
“THE WHITE ONE ON TOP”
“there’s two different arrows, one on top and one on that guy”
“It’s that same one - JUST FOLLOW IT DO YOU WANT ALDUIN TO EAT YOU?”

And then I loaded up one of my saves and unleashed him in Whiterun, where - I swear to god - he accidentally unlocked Uthgerd the Unbroken’s house and stole all her silverware

I FUCKING HATE DWEMER RUINS

BECAUSE ROBOTS AND FALMER AND CHAURUS

I love my map

I love my map

whatawaytobeginitall:

Skyrim teaches you important life lessons… Like:
“If you have enough money you can get away with anything”
and “the key to success is learning how to breathe fire”

truth

So I found a Skyrim map online for a bunch of money

And decided that I wanted it but I’m poor

So instead

I made it

So I found a Skyrim map online for a bunch of money

And decided that I wanted it but I’m poor

So instead

I made it

So I started up a new Skyrim save and uh
This happened

Hey guys

So I started up a new Skyrim save and uh
This happened

Hey guys

So I just installed 32 new mods

Here’s to hoping it won’t crash

venatorphile:

I’m gonna be honest tho.

If you could marry dragons in Skyrim, I would marry Paarthurnax.

I’d wear an Amulet of Mara around him and nothing else.

That voice tho

I remembered why I love Serana

Me: how long were you jailed
Serana: i don’t know. Who’s high king?
Me: that’s actually a matter of debate
S: oh good, a war of succession. Who are the contenders?
Me: the empire supports elisif and the rebels Ulfric.
S: …what empire
Me: bitch you old

My dragonborn is Windhelm’s public enemy number one
She goes into the Palace of Kings, draws Ulfric out and shouts at him
//crazed giggle//